Falling in and Out of love with your spouse?
I was actually reading a blog post yesterday about this topic and I wanted to touch on it a little bit. To me it is only natural to fall in and out of love with your spouse. **Now I mean this in normal circumstances. **
I strongly believe that it is very important to first
reflect on yourself to see if you are still doing the same things you did when
you first met your spouse, to get your spouse. I know when we have children or even career
changes, life just changes. However, it is very important to see what you
could be doing to changing the situation.
Once you look in the mirror, now it is time to speak with
your spouse. For some of you, this topic maybe "the story of your life", or this
maybe the first time you are actually feeling this way about your spouse. Communication is the key, sit down and talk,
maybe the both of you could write a list of things that your spouse could do
to change, and things that you could change to bring the spark back to the relationship.
It is also very very very important not to compare your
relationship to other relationships you see in social media oryour family/friends. It is very easy to
see how wonderful someone spouse is, and have that feeling of why my spouse
could not be the same way or at least attempt to try and be. (Remember people show you, what they want you to know) Do not get me wrong, some people have wonderful relationship, but you are not that person, and you are not in that relationship.
I’m starting to see this post is getting really long J maybe I will have to
do a vlog to follow up on this topic.
I always say, the same things you did to get him/her, is the
same things you have to do to keep him or her!
Tips:
- Always date your spouse (.i.e. have a date night, send love notes, leave chocolates on his/her pillow when weather permits)
- Do not compare your relationship to others
- It is okay to guide the relationship, not control, guide (show your spouse how to be spontaneous or romantic)
- Communication is key (Do not hold it in)
- Love yourself First! (If you do not love you, you cannot be truly in love with someone else)
- Keep other people out of your relationship (trust me, the same people telling you everything that is wrong with your husband, is the same person not in a relationship and/or not happy in their relationship)
- It is okay to change for the better
- Make time!
Any tips? How do you feel about this topic?
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4 comments
I think keeping things new and exciting are great we learn new things about each other as we grow and although we say we don't like change we change unconsciously sometimes. Great post and advice
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts. It is so easy to get busy and let the important stuff fall by the wayside. As they say "the grass isn't greener on the other side, it is green where you water it."
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this post. Hubby and I just had a discussion about this because Nadia is 10.5 months old now and our lives have truly changed. It is so hard to be just us. I will definitely use your tips.
ReplyDeleteI think it is so important to learn to move with the punches. I think a lot of problems arise when one person shifts with the changes that life deals while the other is still wanting things to be the way they were.
ReplyDeleteAdaptation is so important. Our "normals" become new all of the time. If one person can't adjust then they are hindering progress in my opinion.
You make a very good point about not comparing other people's relationships. You never know their dynamic or all they have gone through to get where they are.
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I would love to read your thoughts... Thanks for sharing Happy comments :).
~Mrs. Delightful